Community

One of the five Things I Value Most is Community. What do I mean by Community? For me, it means bringing people together, usually building together or working toward a shared goal.

This month I started a men’s activity group, inviting some of the men in my local neighborhood to go hiking once a month. I’m calling it the IMG – the Ithaca Men’s Group, after the street we live on. So far only a half dozen in the group, and hopefully more will join.

Why is Community important to me? I guess I’m a social creature like anyone else, but I have some unfortunate mental wiring that makes me perhaps overly sensitive about intruding on other people’s time. It’s like my consideration gene got over-amplified to an extreme. Rather than walk up to someone and start a conversation – which can feel like an invasion (even though a rational part of my brain knows it isn’t) – it feels easier to organize an event or activity that could be valuable for others and invite them to join. In this way, I get the social interaction I crave, I get to meet new people, and if dig deeper I guess I get to control the circumstance of the interaction. It feels less scary, because they’re only coming if they want – no ‘intrusion’ necessary.

I’ve done this multiple times throughout my life. With the band, organizing running relay teams, mapping out a 10k, etc.

On a base level, it’s clearly self-serving.

There is another element, thought, which is I do believe we are stronger when we are connected. I feel more grounded, secure, and confident when I can say hello to neighbors with whom I have an actual relationship. Even if it’s a small relationship, I know I can ask a favor if needed, and they know they can ask me. These small bonds create a powerful network.

So Community continues to rise to the top as one of the things I value most.