Why is it so hard to ask for help?
Is it that I’m admitting I can’t do this by myself? Is there a concern I may appear incapable or incompetent? Am I exposing inadequacies? These may be our experiences, but think of the messages we send the other person being asked:
I trust you. I believe you are capable. I’m willing to make myself a little bit vulnerable to you. I’m willing to put myself in your debt.
When I flip this conversation around, if someone comes to me asking for help, I never think, “Oh, so you can’t handle this yourself?” Not remotely. My initial internal response is nearly always, “Yes of course I want to help! When, where and how can I help?”
I feel flattered. I feel valued. I feel trusted. I may feel a sense of responsibility and empowerment: this person needs something and they value their relationship with me so much they are willing to ask. It’s an opportunity to help, to make a difference, and it just landed in my lap. Of course I’d love to help!
When a friend asks me for help there is no hesitation. Why would I expect others to feel any differently toward me?