One reason I started cataloging my thoughts in this blog is because I’m afraid of losing them. Especially thoughts or insights derived from experiences. My mind seems to forget the details, and I’m afraid I’ll lose the specific memory into an abyss of impressions and vague recollections.
I’ve long subscribed to the notion of ‘triggers’. That is, only when someone triggers a memory through a specific external stimulus such as retelling a story or reminding me about the context of an event, will that memory return to my consciousness. But sometimes even the trigger doesn’t bring back the memory. It’s like the experience never happened. This frightens me even more than it saddens me. And so I am motivated to capture specific experiences, especially ones that sparked some special insight, hoping not to lose them. It may be enough to just do that, with no need to make a connection to “something higher” (although I feel constantly compelled to do so). Perhaps it’s enough to simply capture the experiences with my true voice; and in the aggregate create a collage of impressions that organically point to who I am and where I’ve been.