Been a while since my last post. But my commitment to this blog is about attempting to capture the experiences as I move through this life. Mostly for my future self to be able to look back. (If others reading this blog derive some benefit, that’s cool too.) And these experiences only captured if I actually write.
The trick is putting all the emotions in order and making sense out of them through words. For example, today I’m sitting home alone, because there was a possible exposure to the coronavirus in my germ bubble, and I don’t want to meet anyone else until a negative test confirms there is no risk of that. I’m listening to a Spotify playlist that my son shared with me. Missing him and his sister and their youthful, playful energy that must be restrained in these complicated days of Covid-19.
Cold temperatures outside, fire in the wood stove inside. And a wild flurry of emotions have rampaged across my mind and heart all morning.
Thoughts of work and the extraordinary growth we’re going through — and all the challenges that come with that territory.
Thoughts of my son who is writing college essays and building a self-portrait that will be foundational as he figures out his own life. And wondering what are the best ways to me to support his growth and coming-of-age.
Existential thoughts of who I am and how I fit into this complex world – big with 7 billion people yet small in a universal context. If my life force is snuffed out, a few people around me are affected but the world keeps moving. While I am alive, a few people around me are impacted but the world keeps moving. What, then, can or should I do to improve the world? Do I even have a responsibility to improve things?
I believe the answer is yes. My duty is to make a little light, right here where I am, in any way that I can. I’ll do my part, you do yours, and the interconnected web of our positive pushes will make a difference against. But we have to be very intentional about it.
At the workplace, I influence the people who work with me. And they influence the colleagues, customers, partners who interact with our company.
At home, my kids will absorb every remark and every moment I spend with them. I can build them up or tear them down, and they will bring their experience of me into their future networks of relationships.
There is a lot of darkness out there. Incredibly difficult circumstances, injustices, crises of giant proportions, and people carrying deep pain.
I’ll combat that today by making a little bit of light, here in my world, right where I am.